Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Men (for) Talking Boobs Organisation
Hello, I'm Mark Zachary from the Men For Talking Boobs Organisation. We here at Men For Talking Boobs Organisation have a very long traditionally ingrained method of having a lively and wholesome conversation with the breasticles of our significant others. Now, many of you out there will say, "oh, dear god! A talking boob?! Preposterously sick!" But hear me out here. Imagine the scenario: You wake up one morning with your brain far up your butt because of all that damn tequila you drank last night. You didn't brush your teeth before you passed out so now the inside of your mouth tastes like the asscrack of a greasy fat man who stuffs bits of pickled garlic in between said asscrack. You get out of bed and limp to your toilet, which reeks of vomit and filth. Inevitably you miss the latrine while you absentmindedly take your cock out for a piss. The carpet turns a darker shade of its own colour as your stray piss accumulates around it. Right at this moment your wife comes in, swearing like a fucking dragon-slayer from the ghetto. You realise suddenly that she pays you no respect and makes you no breakfast. You slap her and she falls on the soaked piss-carpet. From then on she is quiet and listens to you, but you for the life of it cannot squeeze out a single word of conversation from her. However, she has sex with you for she is afraid you'll beat her. Quite alright. While you're down to business you gaze philosophically down at her luscious titties...and they say "hello!" You're amazed! Baffled! Turned on! You spend the rest of your life treating your wife like shit and having the conversations you can't have with her...with her own boobies! Through these years we have seen many breasts rise up to fame and flatulence: Squishy the Right-Wing talk show host in "The Daily Boobage", Rapunzel Finch who is a writer, writing on the eventual freedom of breasts from the bondage of women, and of course, Lilly and Lilly, the two talented twin tits who made it big...well, literally. So big, in fact, that they were most successful in UN peacekeeping missions where they were used as talking shields that would make bullets bounce noiselessly off them, and at the same time have a lively, loud and eventful conversation about money, education and the healthcare system with the enemy soldier. Yes, here at MFTO, we share a dream. This is Mark Zachary, and I just love boobies.