Argh

Screw it, spew it.

Yuh.

The
Big
Red
Apple
Sat
On
The
Table.
I cut
The
Big
Red
Apple
In
Half
And
Ate
Its
Apple
Core.
It
Was
Delicious.

Opiate

Muse

Sometimes, on sleepysunnysummer days,
When Uncertainty and Hope come hand-in-hand,
Followed closely by crazed thoughts of love and happiness
In bum-like accuracy,
And it is impossible to not mull things over,
Helped by a shot of whiskey,
And -- l'inévitable -- cigarettes,
One begins to wonder:
For the sake of adventure,
You shouldn't ever know about the happy.

Me and my clan against the world:
Me and my family against my clan:
Me and my brother against my family:
Me against my brother.

Audience and Cast

To wander into endless dreams of laughter and inebriation, faraway lands and queens with guitars, grotesque mathematics teachers and horrendous exams, walks through twilight alleys and twitching in bed, lack of thought and overabundance of thought, a blood red swirling wave in an eternal blood red ocean with a pale grey sky above, waiting, watching, judging, listening --- and never even once speaking or making a comment, leaving one in perpetual suspense, mind screaming out and body aching all over for some kind of hopeful floating answer that never existed, some kind of clue or sign or at least an assuring voice that would whisper in my ear, “relax, everything is fine, everything is good.” The blood red sea rose in strangled curls, pulling me down, breaking me away from touching the pale grey sky---and I did not offer resistance. I will never offer resistance. I will submit, and trip on the moment, this very infinite moment for ever and ever. The universe is a moving picture, and I am sick and tired of being either a spectator or an actor. All that is happening around me and inside my head: talks of love and happiness, dead relatives, caught red-handed, herb and hiding, guilt and passion, anger and apathy, sickness and sobriety, freedom and fallacy, shock and surprise, friends and foes, party and parting---in the end, they don’t matter. I am stuck and struggling in the land of the Living Dead, and it is time I let go, wake up and learn to be both Audience and Cast.

Humanity

I remember once when I went down
To a sawdust pub outside of town
The air swirled with blue-green haze
With walls that remembered stranger days
And the barman poured out shots of piss
And eyeballs drank, their hearts amiss
And twisted whores, legs apart
Let their daddies hone their hearts
So that they may one blissful night
Meet a man, sharp and bright
While blood-soaked fetish chugs him on
Poor little whores, fucked, forlorn
And slouched on the floor, their lives in stains
Are junkies quietly spiking veins
Advised, you are, to speak not a word
For all that you say will be left unheard
Is this heaven, or insanity?
With faltering lives and disparity
Pushing us round a little room
Of whiskey and women and infectious gloom
And right in the corner two little girls
Their innocent eyes, glistening pearls
Fearful and alert, watching in pain
Something twitchy, slimy, pink: a brain
Writhing in glory on the cold-tiled floor
Like being screwed by Zeus forevermore
Or pushing a rock up a hill
And pushing and pushing and pushing until
Exhausted, confused, on the brink of insane
Enlightenment it does attain
And joining the brain, was, alas
An outsider, a stranger, a man from Mars
Who probed little children deep in their asses
As their parents emptied their glasses
And emptied and emptied, till they were drunk
And conscience fell with a little 'plunk!'
And everyone joined in for a fuck
An orgy with brains and lungs and muck
And God, he says, "You are my friends!"
Unknown to us what he intends
And this was it, brothers all
A sawdust pub where sawdusts fall
Like rain falling on insanity
Like you and me - and Humanity

Lament

Love is the beginning
And here we have a bond
A bond that lasts forever
Why don't we ever get along?
Spark becomes a flame
Flame becomes a fire
And then another blows it out
And erases your desires
Watch the weather change
My fragile mind, in flames
And then another blows it out
And who am I to blame?
And soon, I disappear
Away from your shadow
No more nestling in hollow shoulders
Run with me through meadows
Hiding with the flowers
Hiding all alone
Hiding for all our lives
Despair carved in stone
And suddenly, I wake up
And what do you intend?
Love is the beginning
And the inevitable end.

On stars

Imagine a green, green field under a blueblack sky bursting with euphoria and energy. Imagine you crashed next to me, like a falling star.

Imagine if we were all bright, shiny, falling stars. Imagine if we were celestial bodies; a chaos of constellations in chaotic cities: Siriuses on stage, comets on the highway, black holes in deserts, Mars on the battlefield, galaxies on dancefloors. We would run like mad children around the world looking from falling star to crashing comet and all the while drinking it all in and exploding with excitement, love, peace, energy---

And you, you would be my Venus, my evening star, and I would be your Galileo, the one who got to know you.

She was a fiery flashing comet-like creature with blazing comet-like eyes and nothing short of unexpected. She could make you lose your train of thought and forget about the world, and you'll end up looking like an idiot. She could very well make your heart skip beats, like a really horrible drummer. It's like being in a weird, wild, mysterious game where you can't ever win. She left me hanging in my mind, left me thinking thoughts such as "what the fuck" and "do I dare?"

Time to turn back and descend the stair.


What's up, man? Are you merely stricken blind and flabbergasted, or has your universe of concentric circles crashed down? And what do you do with a girl that trippy?

You trip, dumbass.
You trip.

I expected a lot, and got too much.

Idealism

We begin the chapter, with a kiss.

And then we part our ways, going through a mad steamrolling cheetah race as we laugh, cry, yell, brood, shudder, scream, love, hate, run, sleep, fuck, eat, drink, smoke the shit out of ourselves, experience the shit out of the world, love the shit out of the Universe like two wild whirling comets whizzing by the galaxy always parallel to each other but even then always bent on collision at a point that will eventually come and which you could call Destiny. And then we meet again, perhaps in Paris, where we share a joint together, and get high.

And end the chapter, with another kiss.